- Knowledgebase: Teenager / Adolescent Articles
- Articles of interest to teenage patients
- 5. When Your Teen Goes Vegetarian - Top
- Bites of passage: what you need to know when your teen goes vegetarian.(includes list of resources)
Author/s: Lee Reilly
Issue: Nov, 1997 Vegetarian Times
For Renee Walker 14, the most traumatic part of moving from Manteca, 200 miles north to Redding, Calif., was passing the cattle trucks she knew were headed for the slaughterhouse. She'd cry whenever she saw a truck, although her mother tried to persuade her that she didn't really know where the cows were going. But Renee was sure. "I just saw them and I'd think, those animals are going to get killed--and that upset me," she says. Settled into her new home, Renee declared herself a vegetarian, lost 15 pounds in one month, and sent her mother Maureen, 41, a full-time homemaker, into alternating states of worry and admiration. Was there something seriously wrong with Renee, she wondered? Was Renee acting out the emotional distress of moving at such a sensitive age? And what, exactly, does a teenage vegetarian eat?
The scene at the Walker household--teen-age daughter declaring a new and potentially inconvenient ethic; concerned mother responding as best she can was more common that either of them knew. Nationally, among teens--especially girls--the vegetarian trend is well-established. According to a 1997 survey by the Teenage Resource Group, a marketing research firm based in Northbrook, Ill., 36 percent of teen-age girls--which is more than twice the number of boys--consider being vegetarian "in." About 4 percent of all teens, the majority of them girls, actually sustain a vegetarian diet. These numbers have held steady for the last three years.
In most cases, a teen's decision to become a vegetarian marks a significant personal transition, and as Maureen Walker soon discovered, is certain to spark lively discussions, temporary discomfort and a series of unexpected adjustments within the family--especially for mothers. In many situations, however, that individual evolution can also lead to celebration, cooperation and life-long positive changes for the whole family.
THE TRUTH BEHIND THE TREND
What's fueling the trend toward teen-age vegetarianism? Most girls are drawn by animal-rights issues. For 15-year-old Alice Grattan, an award-winning student athlete in her Rochester, N.Y., high school, a graphic description of the fate of farm horses published on the internet sealed her decision. "I think the killing of animals is unnecessary," she says. "There are so many other places to get nutrients." Fourteen-year-old Lindsey Alexander, a Chapel Hill, N.C., high school student, was influenced by a brochure she read from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), a nonprofit organization based in Washington, D.C. She can't imagine eating animals and she says that most of her girl friends are vegetarians too. "I think we have the same values so we ended up becoming friends," she explains.
Armed with this kind of information and emotional certainty, many teens have made their decisions long before their parents are aware that steak dinners are being avoided or leather Reeboks are being sent into early retirement. "Lindsey just very quietly became a vegetarian," recalls Lindsey Alexander's mother Janice, age 48, an interior designer. "She didn't announce it. She backed into it." But from Lindsey's point of view, the transition was much more dramatic. She recalls leaving a tuna sandwich that resided uneaten in her school locker for three weeks. Tiffany Wyand, 14, Renee Walker's friend from Redding, Calif., also describes her more direct approach with cinematic intensity. "One night my mom put chicken in front of me," she says gravely, "and I just said, `I'm not eating it.'"
NOURISHMENT VS. NURTURING
For many mothers, such scenes are often an unwelcome surprise. "There are a lot of desperate mothers out there, when their kids go vegetarian," observes Tiffany's mother, Teresa, a part-time florist. When Tiffany proclaimed that she was a vegetarian, Teresa, 44, was dumbfounded: She'd never met a vegetarian and she'd never heard of tofu. "I thought, what is Tiffany going to eat?"
Aside from being in the dark about what exactly comprises a vegetarian diet, many parents worry that their daughters will miss out on essential nutrients. "Most parents are concerned about their kids' health," says Judy Krizmanic, author of A Teen's Guide to Going Vegetarian (Puffin Books, 1994). "That's the first thing." Parents frequently focus on whether their teen is getting enough protein and iron, she says. When Lauren Lebrecque, 18, opted for a vegan diet five years ago, her mother's first concern was calcium. Judy Lebrecque, 48, a teacher in Leicester, Mass., had visions of her 13-year-old suffering premature osteoporosis. "I was really upset," she admits. Meeting with vegetarian dietitian Carol Coughlin, R.D., who was a neighbor and joining a local food co-op eased her fears.
ULTERIOR MOTIVES
Exacerbating these nutritional concerns are nagging worries that maybe this change of diet isn't really about saving the animals after all. Maybe it's a front for an eating disorder. Some teens regard vegetarianism as a convenient cover for anorexia, says Jon Sherman, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Northwestern University Medical Center's Eating Disorders Program in Chicago.
The differences between vegetarians motivated by ethical concerns and those obsessed with thinness are usually discernible, Sherman maintains. Anorectic girls concentrate on body image and spot reduction; their thoughts are inflexibly focused on specific weight-reducing tasks. "However, choosing vegetarianism as an ideal and statement to the world is a different kind of reasoning," Sherman says. That, he says, usually involves larger concepts such as animal rights and ecology.
Coughlin, who co-hosts America Online's (AOL) teen vegetarian chat group, offers this test to determine a teen's motivation: "Just ask your daughter why she's a vegetarian. If she starts talking about fat grams, I'd be worried. If she starts talking about animals, blood, guts and cruelty, you're probably all right." If doubts persist and weight loss continues, however, parents should seek the help of a professional who specializes in eating disorders.
HITTING HOME
Health concerns aside, a teen's decision to become a vegetarian affects the whole family--both emotionally and functionally. It takes additional work on the part of the designated family cook--usually the mother--to extend her cooking repertoire. And it takes an attitude adjustment on the part of other family members who may regard a vegetarian diet as unappealing. Lauren Lebrecque pre-empted this conflict by cooking her own meals--which is the approach most experts recommend. "If you're old enough to make this decision, you're old enough to contribute to the family," says Coughlin, whose three school-age vegetarian children all help out in the kitchen.
Other conflicts are more emotional. Having achieved a moral point of view, some teens can't resist commenting on everyone else's morals. Lauren's favorite bumper sticker reads "Meat is Murder," and teens often talk about "educating" others, a gentle term for what can be a rather bloody discussion. After one such discussion, Carol Ricci, 50, an office manager in Great Kills, N.Y., told her daughter Cara, who was 16 at the time, "We tolerate what you're eating and you should be tolerant with us."
Meanwhile, siblings often rebel. "A little brother will say, `You're ruining it for us, now we can't go to McDonald's,'" Carol Coughlin reports. Visiting relatives often announce that a teen's new vegetarian diet is "just a passing phase"--a comment that may be well-meaning, but discount the teen-ager's feelings, motivations and desires to be an independent thinker.
Mothers, in turn, sometimes experience a mild sense of loss. "It was frustrating," Teresa says of those first couple of months when she was trying to understand her daughter's feelings and motivations and master a new way of thinking about food and nutrition. "You're used to caring for the family and giving them what they need. You begin to feel panicky that they won't eat. It's almost like a baby who won't take the milk." That panicky feeling, that subtle sense of hurt, is understandable, says author Judy Krizmanic. "Nourishment is so personal," she says. "Parents have been feeding their kids all along--it's one of their jobs--and then, suddenly, the child turns the tables and changes the way she eats, as if to say, `You've been doing it wrong.' That's confusing."
But all this confusion also presents an opportunity at a timely moment: the moment when a teen begins to define herself and make her way in the world.
THE ME I WANT TO BE
When Renee Walker moved to Redding, she had an opportunity most teens only dream about: the chance to recreate herself. "I felt like, this is a new me; no one knows me," she recalls. "It was neat meeting and shocking new people with the fact that I don't eat meat."
Although it may shock some, choosing at age 14 to eat differently from your family--and your friends--is actually a normal thing to do, characteristic of a time of life rife with questions of right, wrong, how to fit in, how to be different and how to be oneself. The task of the teen years is to create an independent identity, to become a whole person who is psychologically distinguished from, but still attached to, the family.
"Adolescents get an extremely bad rap," observes Chicago-based psychologist Jennie Zeisz, Ph.D., who with her colleague, Blake Bowden, Ph.D., recently studied the feelings and experiences of 1,200 teen-agers. Real rebellion is rare among girls, she says; much more common are exploration and testing. From this perspective, going vegetarian is less akin to body piercing and breaking curfew than it is to refusing to purchase anything packaged in Styrofoam. "It's a matter of testing out a voice, of testing out beliefs," says Zeisz. "If we, as adults, took the time to look at the internet and read those animal-rights brochures, we'd be grossed out too." The magic, says AOL's Coughlin, lies in the teen's course of action: "To think that you can change the world by changing what's on your plate!" she says. "Did you think that way when you were a teen? I think it's really cool."
There are other interpretations, however. In Reviving Ophelia (G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1994), psychologist Mary Pipher suggests that girls victimized by a media-drenched world often choose vegetarianism because they relate to the victimization of animals; their choice reflects their attachment to creatures even more vulnerable than they are. Passion over animal rights may well reflect a girl's heightened sense of defenselessness in her own life, a sense she is unsafe in the world. But in both Coughlin's and Krizmanic's experience, the choice to become a vegetarian usually comes from a position of strength. "It's a celebration of life," says Krizmanic. "It's something to be admired."
A MEETING OF MINDS
The good news: After initially feeling disconcerted, most mothers agree with Krizmanic. Says Renee Walker's mom, Maureen, "I will do anything to help Renee; she feels so strongly about this. Of course I'll support her." But support means more than just thinking the idea of being a vegetarian is great. Support means interaction--taking part in your daughter's options and her experience.
"Engage your daughter in her choices," says Zeisz. Discuss her choices and their impact on the family. And then take action: involve her in learning to solve the issues that are going to crop up. "The research tells us that teens want to be valued; they want to have a voice in the relationship with their parents," says Zeisz, adding that in her study the girls who felt they had less of a voice were the ones most likely to be depressed.
To get the process going, say the experts, ask your daughter to gather data and recipes; there's plenty of information designed specifically for teens (see Getting Smart). Janice Alexander takes Lindsey to shop at natural food stores. Teresa Wyand, who felt stymied at first, signed up for a cooking class taught by the Church of the Seventh-Day Adventists, a religion that advocates a vegetarian-based healthy lifestyle, and brought Tiffany with her. Many teens pack their own lunches for school, and others take the initiative to cook up a frozen, vegetarian patty when the family is eating a meat-based dinner. No matter who does the cooking, though, Zeisz recommends maintaining the traditional family meal: Research indicates that for teens, mealtime gatherings are an effective source of positive and meaningful contact with adults.
Support also means listening to the challenges of being a vegetarian teen--which include getting along with peers who wave meat and moo in the cafeteria--and celebrating the successes. When a teacher recently criticized Renee's diet in front of her peers, Renee was disturbed, but resolute. Maureen was angry--and supportive. "I told Renee that maybe this teacher doesn't have the strength to believe in something and stick with it," Maureen recalls.
It's a testimony to this spirit of engagement that many families eventually shift away from meat-centered diets: The Walkers, Lebrecques, Wyands and Riccis all eat less meat than they once did, and Lindsey's little brother counts the days he goes without red meat, hoping to impress his big sister. "It's wonderful to see that," comments Zeisz, adding that it's not surprising to see families coalesce in this way. "If you ask adolescents about their basic moral values, they're like their parents'. She may not end up voting the way you vote, but 99.9 percent of the time, your daughter has the same essential values you have."
RELATED ARTICLE: GETTING SMART
For more information on teens and vegetarianism, VT recommends the following books, internet addresses and resources:
* Foods From Mother Earth by Maura D. Shaw and Synda Altschuler Bryne (The Shawangunk Press; 1994) is a cookbook designed for young vegetarians (not vegans) that starts with the basics: how to chop an onion and boil an egg. A table of equivalents offers useful substitutions. Recipes, such as Carrot and Pasta Soup and English Fruit Pudding, are organized by technique (what you can cook on top of the stove, what you can cook in the oven).
* A Teen's Guide to Going Vegetarian by Judy Krizmanic (Puffin Books; 1994) covers many of the issues teens face during the transition to a vegetarian or vegan diet. Check out the chapter on how to manage the parental units. A few recipes in the back can get teens started. A Teen's Guide to Vegetarian Cooking is scheduled for release in 1998.
* Vegetarian Beginner's Guide by the authors of Vegetarian Times (MacMillan, 1996) offers a step-by-step guide to nutrition, purchasing and cooking vegetarian.
Cyber Info
* America Online's section for vegetarian teens has several services, including a chat room with Carol Coughlin, R.D. The chat group meets Tuesday nights, 9 p.m. Eastern time.
* The Crazy Vegetarian at www.crazyveg.com has a bold motto: "Leader of the meat-free world!" It offers recipes, a list of famous vegetarians (Jenny Garth, Ellen Degeneres), information for new vegetarians (what do you do with tofu?), a bookstore and uplinks.
* Teen Vegetarian is an E-zine for teens written by teens. It offers fresh feature articles, a pen pal page, book reviews, recipes, uplinks and the opportunity to contribute your own insights. Visit the site at www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2657
* Vegetarian Pages offers a huge list of uplinks to online sources, including PETA's web site, McSpotlight, a review of recent events in hamburgerland; more than 30 local vegetarian organizations across the globe; and, for teens who really have their parents convinced, vegetarian vacation spots; www.veg.org/veg
* New vegetarians can access this virtual compendium of vegetarian information and sources from diet to dating tips; www.newveg.av.org
* Vegetarian Resource Center is a nonprofit group designed to support the development of local vegetarian societies. The site offers information, recipes and links to student groups; www.tiac.net/users/vrc/index.html
* The Virtual Vegetarian, produced by the editors of Vegetarian Times, offers info about all aspects of vegetarianism. Of specific interest to the younger set is the Vegetarian Teen forum--found in the bulletin board area called Virtual Voices. www.vegetariantimes.com
* The Vegetarian Youth Network offers information, recipes, uplinks and a basic sense of connection with members located in 44 states and 20 countries; www.geocities/RainForest/Vines/4482
- Updated: May 18, 2001
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