Rainbow Pediatrics, PA Hendersonville, NC (828) 698 8135

James L Horwitz, MD • David C Thomas MD • Deborah D Radecki, MD • Barbara Lindberg, PNP • Rhonda Hertwig, PNP

Knowledgebase: Parenting Questions

Questions about the managment of common parenting problems such as discipline.

38. My 2 year old has "fits" a lot and won't mind me. - Top

That is why they call them "two year olds" after all! It is normal for a toddler to three year old to have "fits" from time to time. They have needs and desires and curiosities that are very real. However, they lack the emotional stability to calmly deal with the frustration of not being able to act immediatly upon these impulses.

There are things you can do to limit the number of fits or temper-tantrums your two year old has.

1. Don't give in to fits just to quiet him down. Two year olds are excellent at learning how to manipulate their parents. If they find out that crying for 55 minutes is the key to getting what they want, they will be happy to provide that service for you.

2. Start discussing (not during tantrum) the rules of the family, and how we all have to help out wait our turn to get what we want. Explain that next time he has a tantrum, he will sit in time out and that if he will sit in time out for a few minutes.

3. Pick your fights well. If you start a battle at the resturant, you should be prepared to finish the battle- even if it means taking him out to the car to let him scream for 30 minutes. If you give in, you lose big.

4. You CAN let him have a banging-his-feet-on-the-floor fit at the grocery store. It is up to you. If it gets uncomfortable, take him out to the car and wait it out there.

5. If he won't sit in time out, hold him there using your arms and legs to do so. Repeately remind him CALMLY that you have all day to sit there and will do so until he settles down. When he does, and he will eventually, THEN start timing your 2-3 minutes of time out.

6. Do not spank him except in a life-threatening situation. I am often asked "Why does my 2 year old hit?" and I ask "Do you spank him?" and you can guess the answer. If you can't control yourself, how can you expect a 2 year old to control himself?

7. Reward good behavior. For many 2 year olds, it is a rare day that they get a compliment! All they hear is "No!", "Stop That!" and "Get away from that!"

Try to enjoy your toddler or two year old for what he is- energetic, enthuiastic, and curious beyond comparison. - Updated: March 5, 2001

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Questions about the managment of common parenting problems such as discipline.

38. My 2 year old has "fits" a lot and won't mind me. - Top: That is why they call them "two year olds" after all! It is normal for a toddler to three year old to have "fits" from time to time. They have needs and desires and curiosities that are very real. However, they lack the emotional stability to calmly deal with the frustration of not being able to act immediatly upon these impulses.

There are things you can do to limit the number of fits or temper-tantrums your two year old has.

1. Don't give in to fits just to quiet him down. Two year olds are excellent at learning how to manipulate their parents. If they find out that crying for 55 minutes is the key to getting what they want, they will be happy to provide that service for you.

2. Start discussing (not during tantrum) the rules of the family, and how we all have to help out wait our turn to get what we want. Explain that next time he has a tantrum, he will sit in time out and that if he will sit in time out for a few minutes.

3. Pick your fights well. If you start a battle at the resturant, you should be prepared to finish the battle- even if it means taking him out to the car to let him scream for 30 minutes. If you give in, you lose big.

4. You CAN let him have a banging-his-feet-on-the-floor fit at the grocery store. It is up to you. If it gets uncomfortable, take him out to the car and wait it out there.

5. If he won't sit in time out, hold him there using your arms and legs to do so. Repeately remind him CALMLY that you have all day to sit there and will do so until he settles down. When he does, and he will eventually, THEN start timing your 2-3 minutes of time out.

6. Do not spank him except in a life-threatening situation. I am often asked "Why does my 2 year old hit?" and I ask "Do you spank him?" and you can guess the answer. If you can't control yourself, how can you expect a 2 year old to control himself?

7. Reward good behavior. For many 2 year olds, it is a rare day that they get a compliment! All they hear is "No!", "Stop That!" and "Get away from that!"

Try to enjoy your toddler or two year old for what he is- energetic, enthuiastic, and curious beyond comparison. - Updated: March 5, 2001

[e-Mail me the Knowledgebase] - [Search our Knowledgebase] - [Question Not Answered?] Custom Search